حساسیت بڑھتی گئی ہر سانحے کے بعد
ہم اس کے لئے بھی روئے جسے جانتے نہ تھے
We're inevitable. We're tragedy.
We all secretly hope that tragedy will only ever happen to other people. But Mariana knew, sooner or later, it happens to you.
~The Maidens
Boundaries make us feel safe. Boundaries are what therapy is about.
~The Maidens
Sylvester Stallone said in the 2006 film Rocky Balboa:
“It ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward.
That’s how winning is done!”
“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games.
Twenty-six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
Michael Jordan
HAPPINESS = REALITY - DESIRES
“It is common sense
to take a method and try it.
If it fails, admit it frankly
and try another.
But above all, try something.”
FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES (1933—1945)
“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”
Friedrich Nietzsche
He leaned over and grabbed the black snake, still fisting its body and
staring at me as the reptile hissed, snapped back around, and struck the back
of his hand, sinking its fangs into him.
Aydin released it, and I watched as he sucked the two red punctures into
his mouth and spit the blood into the plant bed.
“Like nearly all suffering,” he told me, “it bites, but you live.”
Sweat cooled on my skin, and my head was in the clouds, a tremendous
weight I thought I’d always feel suddenly gone.
Leaning in, Aydin kissed my temple, and I didn’t even consider pulling
away. His lips were warm and gentle—almost like a…
Like a father.
“You’re Lilith,” he whispered against my skin. “You can’t be burned if
you’re the flame.”
🖤
"I am not scared,” he repeated. “I am the eye of the storm. The calm in
the madness.”
I blew out a breath, drawing in another.
“The quiet in the chaos. The patience for my moment.”
My hand started to melt into the dirt, the snake shrinking and my heart
starting to slow down.
We didn’t blink.
“I am the eye of the storm,” he murmured, and I was transfixed. “He did
not happen to you, Emory. You expected it. It was supposed to happen. It
was all part of the plan. You knew it was coming.”
his voice surrounding me like music.
“Nothing is ever a surprise, Always act as if you knew it was
coming the whole time. Pretend it was part of the plan. You move with the
storm, Emory. Calm, quiet, patient, and then… Then you happen to him.
"You'll be mine," he whispered,
"You can ignore me. You can run," he said, "You can leave. You can hide. Big you're going to be fucking mine someday. Come hell or high water Emory Scott. You're my woman, and you're going to come home to me every day and sit at my table and warm my fucking bed. And you're going to give me a Will Grayson IV. Mark my words"
🖤
I walked toward him, his scent and arms and smile beckoning me like food, because I was dry and hungry and empty.
-Emory Scott
"That's the thing about broken people, Guillaume. If we ever give you our heart, then you know that you deserve it."
~Nightfall
"You feel it, don't you?" Damon asked. "That need kids like us feel that Will never will? That need to destroy anything good, because every man for himself, and if you can't beat 'em, then join 'em."
~Nightfall
"Will is like that," he said, his voice softening, somber now. "Isn't he?"
Like a smile that doesn't hurt. I nodded "Easy, normal, peaceful..." he told me. "The only thing in my life untouched by anything ugly. Nothing has tainted him. He's the one thing that's still beautiful and thinks the world is beautiful and believes people are beautiful and all that shit."
Yeah. But I couldn't say it out loud, because it was hard enough holding back the sob
"You can't take him away from me." Damon told me, stepping back and letting me go.
And in that moment, I understood exactly what his problem was, He didn't dislike me. He resented Will liking me so much.
"Until you can't remember who you were before you started lying even to yourself," he added "Until you can't remember ever smiling when it didn't fucking hurt.
Tears filled my eyes, and I ground my teeth to keep my shit together.
(Abuse can feel like love.
I remembered his words from lit class.
Starving people will eat anything.)
His eyes fell down my body again, has head cocking and taking the purple and red on one side of my torso.
He didn't have any marks that I could see, but there were other kinds of pain.
"Leave."
"Then scream." he demanded instead.
He looked into my eyes as he searched my face "why don't you scream?"
you wouldn't understand.
I don't scream because...
"Because screaming doesn't help," he murmured. "Does it?"
My heart thundered in my chest, but I remained frozen, staring up at him as he looked at my body and the bruises in the shapes of fingers wrapped around my upper arm. The scrapes on my legs and the blue and purple on my shoulders.
"Because you get tired of being the victim," he said, like he was thinking out loud, "and it's easier to just let it happen."
He raised his eyes, meeting mine again.
He loosened his hold, but I didn't run.
"To just pretend we're in control of everything happening to us."
There is a reason why everything is the way it is.
“I like it here,” he almost whispered. “I like mystery. Sometimes I’m
dying to know what happened that night, and other times, I hope I never
find out, because it’s more interesting this way. Reality always disappoints.”
He turned to me. “I think that’s why I’ve always liked this time of day best.
People hide in the dark. They quench their thirsts in the dark. They build
their secrets in the dark. We’re more ourselves here than anywhere else. I
get to be me...” he swallowed, staring at me, “when nightfall is coming.”
~Nightfall
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