"Everything that can kill you looks so beautiful."
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8vGqQTyQ0F/?igsh=MW51eXd3Z283MWdrdw==
Dear God, please let me have a road trip all to over Pakistan before the end of my twenties.
"And you don't like to lose?
No, you don't"
"How do you cope with this 'addictive personality'?"
Easy.
"Order."
"you prefer order? In what circumstances?"
"All of them."
"And when disorder comes into your life?"
A vision of thick hair- sometimes dark, sometimes blond- smooth olive skin, bare feet, and everything forbidden flashed before my eyes.
The fire in my chest burned hotter. Where pain usually hits me like the high of a drug, whenever Gianna Russo- or, sorry, now Marino- was involved, it felt like the comedown. Nauseating. bitter.
"I fix it." standing, I buttoned my jacket and headed to the door.
"But what if it's not fixable?"
A sardonic feeling bulled in my chest.
"That, Sasha, is when I OBSESS."
Thunder rumbled in the distance.
A candle flickered on the coffee table.
"What are you afraid of?"
"Everything," I whispered, trailing my finger across the starched collar of his dress shirt.
"you're not afraid of me...And, baby, I'm worse than dark."
Maybe that was why I felt safe from it now.
voy kak volk, malyshka.
"Pain has it's own way of making you feel alive."
✨
When Ronan opened his eyes, they pinned me with fury. "Zachem ty eto sdelala?" he gritted. "Zachem?"
"English," I said softly.
"Why the fuck would you do that, Mila?" he growled with a deep rasp. "WHY?"
"You're not immortal," I whispered, my throat thick. "I didn't want you to die."
He stared at me with a mixture of disbelief, anger, and something else indiscemible. "You don't get to sacrifice yourself for me." He clenched his teeth. "You DON'T get to die for me, kotyonok." His eyes crucified me. "If anyone dies between us, it will be ME. Do you understand?"
I didn't understand, so I shook my head.
"The moonlight loved her.
but not as much as my shadows."
I'm afraid you'll lose you mind.
Oh Cara Mia, I'm impatiently waiting for it
"Nothing is more terrifying than a whisper beckoning you to step into the dark."
تن دے پرزے پرزے کیتے جویں کردا درزی لیراں
من نوں روک نہ سکدا کوئی پاویں کوئی لکھ پاوے زنجیراں
عشق دا عین جے سمجھیا ہوندا لڑدا نال نہ میں تقدیراں
شین، قاف جیڑا سمجھے بھلیا او رل جاوے مانگ فقیراں
"She had a soft heart. I didn't want to destroy it. I wanted it in the palm of my hand."
"Do you know how they tame falcons?
They lock them away,cover their eyes, and hand feed them."
"I'd rather starve."
He chuckled.
"Love was self-serving. A greedy monster without morals, corrupting my most basic principles. Loyalty came hand in hand, tightly gripping my throat."
~ Mila
sleep is an intoxicating rush to blood, makes you lightheaded
"You have a soft heart."
I didn't say anything because, as annoying as it could be sometimes, it was true.
"Don't," he said, as if I could simply change it.
"The soft ones are easier to break."
I wondered who gave this man such a jaded view on life, who cast him out into the cold street. Whatever happened to him, he was still kind and generous, and I couldn't help but find that incredibly attractive.
"The soft ones are the most loyal," I countered.
"And naive"
"If you mean trusting, yes."
"I meant naive," he deadpanned.
"It's not a crime to look for the best in people."
"I thought you would be the kind of girl to hope for a happily ever after."
"I believe in -for-nows. They're...real. Unique."
He was an eclipse, blocking the pain from my head, and probably, the sun.
Just before the dizziness caught me in it's grasp and dragged me under, I thought he was handsome.
Handsome in the way rough palms muffle screams, the way people bow to kings, and most of all.. the way an angel falls from grace.
"I can't marry another man I don't know."
His voice was rough, dipped in something sharp. "I've told you more about myself than I've ever told anyone else."
"That's not a good enough reason for me to marry you, Christian."
"Fine." He shook his head, his eyes flashing with darkness. "How about because I love you, Gianna? Because I think I have since the moment I saw you? Because if you weren't in this world anymore, I would find a way to take myself out of it?"
My heart stopped.
Went cold.
And then lit with fire.
We stared at each other, silence and the vehemence of his voice touching my skin with rough fingers.
"You don't mean that," I breathed.
"I meant every goddamn word I said."
🖤🖤🖤
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