can't afford to lose what I have been granted for the very first time in my life but if I stay here for long enough, I surely will. it's one of the few halal sources of happiness اللھم بارک
some things are attractive and i want them but they are unhealthy as hell the only way to resist them is, to divert my mind elsewhere which i do not want to do atm because nothing else has the tendency to make me as happy as i get when i am around the unhealthy entity
just dont hold me accountable for anything i do and let me be for the rest of my life i.e if i waste my time, let me. if i act like a dead person, let me. if i let my anger out, let me. if i diserspect you, let me. if i ignore your existence, let me. if i do not fulfill my responsibilities, let me be. if i fail in life, let me. thats how you win my trust
not sure if i have become boring or detached but everything seems kind of irrelevant. feels like im watching a movie and everyone around me is playing their part in the movie. all the delusional talk aside, i just know that I have neither the energy for these characters nor any interest in the movie. -diary of a person in the diaspora.
