It’s been a while since I have started noticing the human beings around me. Human beings are living in misery and pain. They are traumatised. They are dead inside. Their souls are craving tranquility, but they are not finding it. There is some deep pain in those hearts. Pain of losing loved ones. Pain of seeing their loved ones touching the doors of death and then returning back. Pain of fears. Pain of love. Pain of hatred. Pain of betrayal. Pain of broken dreams. Pain of broken friendships. Pain of broken relations. Pain of unfulfilled promises. Pain of failures. Pain of traumatising incidents. Pain of past. Pain of present. Pain of future. Pain of poverty. Pain of not being enough. And above all pain of hiding their own pain...♥
Sometimes your own people don’t realise your efforts. They have always underestimated you.
Like they aren’t sure that you would make up to your dream place ever. They have always misjudged you in everything out there but you have always proved them wrong in every aspect. You have shown them that you can survive in this outside world. Sometimes you get tired because they have never recognised your efforts. To them, everything seems simple. For them, doing BS is a child’s play. For them, it was so easy to adjust in a new city, at a new place with strangers. For them, you do nothing at college. For them, you weren’t studying the whole year to ace professional. For them, you’re only living a life that’s like a piece of cake...♥
I'm not a huge fan of the term 'bestfriends'. Like, you unintentionally set super-high standards that your bestfriend should reach, otherwise he/she will turn out to be a bad person and not-so-good friend in a little period of time. Don't know why does this word sound so complex to me...♥
Another day passed randomly. The same deadass routine. Most of us are almost in the finishing process of becoming the embodiments of unproductivity and poorly-creative thinking. The energy that we fantasize about having, often stays within the confines of our brain cells, nothing more. There can be loads of good moments that one witnesses in his life but why the good that we wish for is seemingly a far cry for us? Is it thanklessness or just the regret of not having the enough will-power? Isn't forced positivity more toxic than the negativity itself?
Even if I get to be the last choice of my friends' group, I'm literally okay with it. Because, once you are used to enjoying your own company, you'll care the least about others prioritising you, since you'll be your first priority and that's the basics...♥
When people say, "Take care of yourself" it's not like they think that you were not taking care of yourself before this and now you'll start doing so just because someone randomly said it. It's more like, you are being valued enough by someone that they want you to stay in this world for slightly longer...♥
Pain
Believe me this feeling of pain, sweet pain won’t harm you at all instead, it’ll make you stronger, stronger than before. But it’ll surely widen your view your perspective your imagination power and your ability to observe and see things.
And sometimes it’ll simply strike your mind, make your mentality worse, forcing you to do unusual, to perform restricted actions.
Occasionally, it’ll widen your eyes, lead you to an open mouth because the density and deepness of your thoughts will create a war in your head. A war that couldn’t be stopped, a war that will result in chaos & destruction. But believe me, it‘s a beautiful feeling. It’ll change you. And if it doesn’t, it’s not it then. Learn to live with it, or die occasionally.
In Pashto, there is a sentence they use for overthinkers,
"دہ زڑہ خوری۔"
"He eats the heart."
This means whatever energy the person consumes from food or any other source is all wasted on his/her thinking. It is used for the person who eats a lot but is weak in appearance. The one who overthinks or is oblivious about things. And I don't know why but that explains overthinking as it should be...♥
On some days do you feel like the day passed so fast? So much happened in 24 hours that you didn’t get time to process it. And now when it’s night you sit and realise so much have happened. And you need time to momentarily stop so you can breath. You find a secluded corner and you sit there and take deep breaths to remind yourself “the day passed”. And you just sit there staring in space taking deep breaths trying to register the day that “just passed”....♥
Things that put a Smile on my Face.......
-The fresh scent of rainy mud
- Finishing the last exam
- To get a phone call saying class canceled.
- The sound of water droplets
- When a stranger smiles back at me
- My bed is made up
- Walking on a quiet road at night
- Getting up By fajar
- Making a blind crossing the road.
- Replying to my messages asap
- Someone Making efforts to put a smile on my face
- A crying baby smiles at my teased expression
- Earning Dua of aged people
- Doing dishes before Mom finds out
And the list continues but at last, A smile on your face makes you livelier and a beautiful Human Being.
So people Smile because it's the most pleasing 5 letter words that bury all worries within...♥
Not every household is filled with love. Some have loud voices in them. And banging of doors. And cries of mother. And anger of father. Not all houses are made with care and affection. Some are built with sighs and silence. And it's okay. It's not your fault. It never was your fault. Be kind. Don't inherit their anger. Be your own new definition of your "family". Surly time will change for you. You'll find peace. And I pray when you find true love, friendship and peace you're ready to accept...♥
If you ever talk to me, do not talk to me about the things you talk to others. Talk to me, what you really are. Show me that side of yours, which you always choose to hide from the world. Talk to me about your sadness and the things that hurt you. Even if those things are really small. I want to know about the things, you are sensitive for. Tell me about your insecurities and the moments when you feel alone. I want to know everything that makes you feel unwanted. I would love to be the part of your scars more than your perfections...♥
I ain’t even gonna lie sometimes I be looking at myself like bro who are you anymore, cause i feel real life lost af, i’m the funniest, happiest boy you ever gonna meet but I’m also real life fighting for my life against my own mind sometimes...♥
To be quite honest, if you knew just how long it took some people to recover their peace of mind and happiness, you'll understand why they shut all doors at any slight discovery of toxicity, and why they can also be so picky about who they allow in their lives...♥
it was such a small thing. But the more I didn’t talk about it, the more it grew inside me. Now I don’t know where the roots are resting and I don’t know how to get rid of it. My anger has grown a garden around my ribs, and my tears have been silently watering the clump of soil in my heart, my veins keeping them warm.
I have to say that it was beautiful... but I couldn’t breathe. I was drowning in it, vines around my limbs and petals flowing from my lips. I felt like there was nowhere else to turn to. But what could I do? All my life, the hardest thing I’ve been trying to run away from is myself...♥
Look at your surroundings, its happening, suicide rate is increasing rapidly, me and many others predicted it a long time ago.
Its hard time, get yourself ready for any challenge, dont be the one to give up on life. You have still alot to do and..
Remember, more hardships means you have to do more struggle and this definitely leads to high success rate.
Never give up because its only you who matters...♥
All of the years I lived, I have learned one thing. In life things happens, it will always turn out good for one and bad for other one. But the probability of me being on good side is always almost nil. So, if you ever get left behind, ditched by friends/relatives, or anything that goes bad in life, just stand in front of the mirror and say in thing to yourself "it's life and things happens", this time it was just you standing on the bad side. Try to remember the times when things turned out good for you but not for the person standing next to you...♥
Sometimes, I get woken up in the middle of the night by the questions. I mean, they're always there, but some nights they just hit different. Or maybe I just spend my days being busy, trying to figure out where to go, when in fact I don't have the slightest idea and just merely letting things take their course.
How I wish this fog will clear. How I hope I know which way to go. Because life's being bearable, but most times, I feel like I'm just stuck between nowhere and goodbyes, telling the stars about other people's wishes.
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